It Ends With Us Fixed All My Issues With Colleen Hoovers Book & Im Thrilled

Spoilers for It Ends With Us are ahead!

Though I went into it skeptical, the movie adaptation of It Ends With Us fixed all the issues I had with the book, creating a powerful movie about domestic violence that I will definitely watch again. I will be the first person to admit that I don’t like most Colleen Hoover books, though I’ve read most of them. Her writing style isn’t for me, and I find some of the messages problematic. However, I approach each book with an open mind, so I tried to set my biases aside when reading It Ends With Us. I really wanted to like the book.

I saw a lot of potential in the storylines and characters, but the problems with the Colleen Hoover book kept stacking up. This made me extremely skeptical when it came to the movie adaptation. Luckily, I was shocked to find that the movie fixed all of my issues with the book. Despite the mixed reviews of It Ends With Us from other critics, I absolutely loved the film. The movie kept all the best parts of the book while fixing my issues with the source material, creating a movie that I’ve already watched three times and will undoubtedly watch again.

Domestic Violence Isn’t A Plot Twist In The Movie

The Movie Adaptation Of It Ends With Us Makes The Abuse Known In The Trailer

One of my issues with It Ends With Us was that Colleen Hoover’s writing didn’t have enough nuance to represent the dichotomy between Lily’s perspective in the situation and the message of the book. The balance felt off. His behavior prior to the first incident of abuse is described in a way that seems romantic and passionate, not controlling and manipulative. That isn’t to say red flags are non-existent in the book because Hoover includes him kicking a chair, picking Lily up against her will, and showing up at her apartment uninvited. The limits of Lily’s perspective downplay these events, though.

This, along with the book’s flawed marketing, turns the domestic violence storyline into a plot twist. I will never be okay with abuse being a plot twist. I find it disrespectful to viewers or readers who have been through those types of situations. Abuse isn’t some gimmick to shock people. Luckily, the movie adaptation of It Ends With Us was marketed from the start as a romantic drama rather than a romance. The trailer also made the domestic abuse in the movie abundantly clear.

Lastly, the movie added more significant and obvious red flags from Ryle, heavily foreshadowing his abuse and adding extra protection in case someone didn’t see the trailer. As someone who can’t handle seeing domestic violence and rape in movies unless I know it’s coming, I appreciate these changes for anyone who might not have known the source material beforehand.

I’m Happy Lily Is Less Of The “Perfect Victim” In The Movie

Lily Is More Flawed, Which Makes Her Easier To Relate To

Though I empathize with her experiences on a cognitive level, I struggle to relate to the book version of Lily for one simple reason – she feels like the “perfect victim.” She immediately recognizes that the abuse is happening and threatens to leave Ryle if it happens again. Lily then follows through on her threats after the second incident, leaving him. The protagonist only goes back to him because she believes he has no control over his actions.

After the third incident, she goes to the hospital to get checked out, only worrying about what hospital they are going to rather than whether she should go. Lily then decides to go through with her pregnancy, never having any doubts about whether it’s the best thing for her, the baby, or Ryle. It felt like reading a caricature of what people want a victim to be rather than a real victim.

Related

It Ends With Us Soundtrack Guide: Every Song & When They Play

Between the score and the soundtrack, It Ends With Us pulled together the perfect music to shape the movie’s tone and the audience’s expectations.

The movie version of Lily is much less of the “perfect victim” because she doubts her own memories, doesn’t immediately recognize the abuse, and doesn’t leave very easily. She questions whether she’s happy, but she ultimately leans into what’s familiar instead of what’s fulfilling. The It Ends With Us character never seems to have an understanding of the situation until she’s removed from it. She also questions whether she can take care of a baby. Obviously, everyone’s experiences with abuse are different, but I relate a lot to this version of Lily. I think others will as well.

The Movie Handles Female Reproduction Better

Allysa and Lily Get To Make Their Own Reproductive Choices In The Movie Adaptation Of It Ends With Us

An extremely bothersome part of reading It Ends With Us was the way Colleen Hoover handled female reproduction. Allysa’s drive to work outside the house is her not being able to have a baby, and she never goes back to work after becoming a parent. It would be one thing if she didn’t enjoy her job, but she loves working at Lily Bloom’s with her best friend. Both Allysa and Lily also have extremely unrealistic and easy childbirth experiences, which irks me.

However, the most irritating part of the reproduction parts of the book is the fact that the book never even broaches the topic of Lily considering an abortion or anyone else suggesting it. This didn’t necessarily surprise me, considering Hoover’s books have been perceived by critics as pro-natalist. Most people with uteruses seem to get pregnant in her books. Additionally, the only time I can remember abortion being mentioned in a Colleen Hoover book is in Verity, and the woman who tries to get one is considered evil.

Luckily, the movie handles reproduction differently. Allysa doesn’t work at Lily Bloom’s because of infertility, and she decides to continue working there while being a mom, allowing her fulfillment in multiple areas of life. The movie also subtly broaches the topic of abortion when Lily and Atlas are talking on the couch. Lily asks how she can take care of a baby if she can’t take care of herself. Then, Atlas says “if” she has the baby instead of “when” she has the baby, affirming her right to choose.

It’s completely fine that Lily decides to have the baby because that’s ultimately a choice that every pregnant person should make for themselves. By at least broaching the topic, the movie affirms the fact that it is a choice – not a given – whether a pregnant person will carry out a pregnancy, especially when in an abusive relationship. Though the change may seem small, it’s important, considering the horrifying statistics about abuse and pregnancy (via Sanctuary for Families).

Ryle Isn’t The Good Guy Abuser In The Movie

Ryle’s Abuse Isn’t Excused, And He Continues Acting Manipulative After Lily Leaves

When I read Colleen Hoover’s book, I was instantly bothered that it paints Ryle Kincaid as the “good guy” abuser in many ways. Because he supposedly experiences blackouts, Ryle doesn’t have any control over his abuse. Except, he lies in wait to rape Lily in the third incident, proving premeditation and control over his actions. His blackouts are not only maddeningly inconsistent and a misrepresentation of the causes of abuse – which is rooted in power and control over a partner, according to The National Domestic Violence Hotline – but it comes across as abuse apologetics.

Luckily, the movie adaptation of It Ends With Us never mentions Ryle having blackouts, a make-or-break change for me. Each incident of abuse is shown as intentional, even if he gaslights Lily into thinking they were accidents. This change was necessary to make Ryle more representative of abusers. Even his childhood trauma was contextual rather than an excuse.

Another important change happens after Lily leaves Ryle. In the book, he gives her space for months without contacting her, which is painfully unrealistic. However, the movie rectifies this issue by having him call Lily and send her multiple texts in a row. The texts contain apologies and love bombing, which fits into the reconciliation phase of the stages of abuse. While it’s tragic, this change made me extremely relieved because it felt all real and familiar.

Lily Raising Emerson Alone Made Me Cry Happy Tears

The Movie Ending Of It Ends With Us Offers More Hope Than The Book

While I acknowledge that being forced to raise a child with an abuser is common, I felt deeply uncomfortable with the ending of It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover. I usually support co-parenting whenever possible for the betterment of a child. However, abuse is an exception for me. Ryle doesn’t actually admit to premeditating the abuse, using his “blackouts” as an excuse. He has done nothing to change his abusive behaviors.

Morally, he hasn’t earned the right to raise his child, let alone be in her life. Lily shouldn’t have let him have unsupervised time with Emerson without doing everything she could to fight it, and I’m aware that statement will probably come across as judgmental. However, the safety of a child is where I draw the line. She had all the resources and support to fight him that others don’t get, making me angry that she didn’t at least try.

Luckily, director/star Justin Baldoni fixed Ryle’s controversial ending in It Ends With Us because he and the domestic violence consultants, No More, felt uncomfortable with the character getting to co-parent Emerson. The inclusion opens up the debate about whether abusive birth parents should get to raise their children, which would have distracted from the message about breaking the cycle of abuse. Ultimately, Lily raises Emerson alone in the movie adaptation of It Ends With Us, which made me cry happy tears. The change felt like a small ounce of hope in a cynical and cruel world that far too often supports abusers and punishes victims.

Sources: Sanctuary for Families and The National Domestic Violence Hotline

It Ends With Us

Director

Justin Baldoni

Release Date

August 9, 2024

Studio(s)

Columbia Pictures , Wayfarer Studios , Saks Picture Company

Distributor(s)

Sony Pictures Releasing

Writers

Christy Hall , Colleen Hoover

Cast

Blake Lively , Justin Baldoni , Brandon Sklenar , Jenny Slate , Hasan Minhaj

Runtime

130 Minutes

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