Sony’s Spider-Man Universe has provided audiences with a mix of exciting action and moments of cringe-worthy dialogue. While the Marvel movie franchise had a lot of potential, certain lines from its characters have become infamous for their awkwardness, forced delivery, and lack of emotional resonance. Many of these became internet memes, lampooning the SSU’s clunky exposition and unsuccessful attempts at humor. Now that the SSU has concluded, the very worst lines have become a fascinating insight into the franchise’s downfall.
The SSU aimed to expand on Spider-Man’s universe with various antiheroes and villains, including Venom, Morbius, and Kraven the Hunter. While some of these films have garnered attention for their star power or flashy action, poor writing and bizarre lines that break immersion often hinder them. These moments, meant to be compelling, instead left audiences scratching their heads in confusion or bewilderment. It even led to a proliferation of fake quotes mocking the franchise, including “You’re the Madame of this web” and “It’s Morbin’ time!”
10
“They Say He Uses A Connection With Animals To Track His Prey, And Once You’re On His List, There’s Only One Way Off.”
Aleksei To Omer In Kraven The Hunter (2024)
In the first act of Kraven the Hunter, Aleksei Sytsevich, AKA the Rhino, discusses Kraven’s vigilantism and the carnage he has wrought throughout the criminal world. Talking to one of his assassins, Aleksei watches video footage of Kraven, prompting his assassin Omer to state, “They say he uses a connection with animals to track his prey, and once you’re on his list, there’s only one way off.”
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This line occurs during a tense moment when Kraven is being described as a ruthless hunter. It’s meant to establish his dangerous reputation and give insight into his abilities. However, this line comes off as ungainly and overly dramatic. The delivery feels unnatural, and the construction of the sentence does little to enhance the character’s intimidation factor. Instead of sounding menacing, it sounds more like an awkward attempt to summarize the antihero’s agenda.
9
“I Can Turn It On If You Want. I Can Talk About Dadaist Patterns Of Arterial Spray.”
Carnage To Venom In Venom (2018)
In Venom, Tom Hardy’s Eddie Brock finds himself in a series of absurd and often over-the-top situations after bonding with the alien symbiote. However, the most ridiculous line comes during the movie’s mid-credits scene. Eddie Brock is invited to interview incarcerated serial killer Cletus Kasady, AKA Carnage. The killer comments on his crazed reputation, “I can turn it on if you want. I can talk about Dadaist patterns of arterial spray,” before suggesting that there will be “carnage” when he escapes.
This line was intended to set up Kasady’s transformation into the iconic Carnage, which has been hotly anticipated for years. Kasasdy is supposed to convey a kind of deranged sophistication while sowing seeds for the Venom sequel. However, rather than sounding edgy and intellectual, it fails to achieve either and feels forced. The absurdity of the reference pulls viewers out of the experience, highlighting an inconsistent tone that would carry through to the sequel.
8
“I’m Not Sure How I Got Here… Has To Do With Spider-Man, I Think.”
Vulture To Mobius In Morbius (2022)
Morbius is a film plagued with issues. One of the few genuinely exciting moments depicted Michael Keaton’s Vulture appearing in the SSU timeline after the universe-bending Spider-Man: No Way Home. In the Morbius post-credits scene, Vulture convenes Morbius and discusses forming a team. Still confused by his transition to a new universe, Vulture casually suggests, “I’m not sure how I got here… has to do with Spider-Man, I think.”
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Michael Keaton was electrifying as Vulture in Spider-Man: Homecoming, but his delivery of this inelegant line in Morbius was less so. It feels like another of the SSU’s inelegant exposition dumps. His justification for forming a team is a random presumption (albeit correct) that Spider-Man must be behind his universe swap. Though it ties together the disparate parts of the SSU franchise and Spider-Man, the casual delivery of such an important plot point feels shoehorned in.
7
“There’s Something Inside Of Me That Wants To Hunt And Consume Blood.”
Morbius (2022)
During the deceptively promising trailer for Morbius, Jared Leto’s Michael Morbius proffers a voiceover seemingly lifted from the movie’s dialogue. Discussing his newfound vampiric qualities, Morbius says “There’s something inside of me that wants to hunt and consume blood.” This line was, however, changed for the movie, with the closest equivalent appearing when Morbius is testing his powers and lifelessly states into his dictaphone, “As a result of my procedure, I have an overpowering urge to consume blood.”
The longer Morbius line could be a composite of several lines, or the SSU might have seen sense after the trailer and removed it – much as they did with some of Madame Web’s more infamous quotations. Regardless, it feels like more clunky SSU exposition. It lacks the psychological depth that could have made the character’s transformation more interesting.
6
“Now That’s Horsepower!”
Venom To Eddie In Venom: The Last Dance
In Venom: The Last Dance, Eddie and Venom are traveling across America. Spotting a nearby horse, Eddie suggests that Venom bond with it to travel at breakneck speeds. Ripping through the desert, the Venom-horse allows them to cross a huge space in a relatively short time, prompting Venom to exclaim, “Now that’s horsepower!”
What makes this Venom: The Last Dance line particularly bad is its lack of originality and its overall cringe factor. The phrase “Now that’s horsepower” is so overused and corny that it almost feels like it was inserted as a cheap attempt to make the moment feel cooler than it actually is. The underwhelming pun doesn’t contribute anything meaningful to the scene. It’s a perfect example of how trying to force humor into an action-heavy sequence can backfire when the humor feels stale and uninspired.
5
“When You Take On The Responsibility, Great Power Will Come.”
Madame Web In Madame Web (2024)
In Madame Web, the eponymous Cassandra Webb visits the place in Peru where her mother died and visits Santiago, the tribal chief who tried to save her life. Santiago puts Cassie through a ritual that opens up her clairvoyant abilities. During the ritual, Santiago offers the advice: “When you take on the responsibility, great power will come.”
This line in Madame Web is particularly bad because it is a obvious attempt to repackage the iconic Spider-Man quote rather than something meaningful in its own right. The phrasing is awkward, and the delivery doesn’t have the same emotional impact that the original line does. It feels like the filmmakers were trying to evoke the gravitas of Spider-Man’s origin story, but they completely miss the mark. Instead of an empowering or reflective moment, it feels like a forced echo of a much more effective phrase.
4
“And You Know The Best Thing About The Future? It Hasn’t Happened Yet.”
Madame Web In Madame Web (2024)
Madame Web closes with a laughably uninspiring montage scene, with a voiceover from Dakota Johnson’s eponymous character. The scene teases an eventual narrative where all the protagonists fight crime together. This, of course, never materialized and is another example of the SSU setting up better stories than it actually depicts. Fittingly, the movie concludes with Madame Web saying “And you know the best thing about the future? It hasn’t happened yet.”
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This line from Madame Web aims to deliver a philosophical insight, but it comes off as trite and shallow. Madame Web is speaking to the audience about the potential of the future, but the way the line is phrased makes it sound more like fortune cookie wisdom than a meaningful reflection on destiny or choices. Moreover, the fact the movie closes with this line adds further irony to the fact that the franchise’s future hasn’t happened yet.
3
“I Am Venom!”
Morbius To A Criminal In Morbius (2022)
In Morbius, Dr. Michael Morbius struggles with his dual nature as both a scientist and a monstrous vampire. During a climactic moment, he breaks into a drug gang’s lab and demands their base and scientific equipment. In the ensuing fight, he overpowers one of the criminals, leans in toward them, and declares “I am Venom!” This line is evidently supposed to be slightly sinister as well as funny. However, neither was true.
Morbius is referencing scenes from the Venom movies in which the pair proudly declare their newfound shared identity as Venom. The problem with this is that it doesn’t make sense within the context of Morbius. The character hasn’t been associated with the Venom symbiote at any point in the movie, so the line feels like a strange, out-of-place reference. Instead of feeling like a triumphant declaration of power, it feels like a confused attempt to tie the movie into the larger Spider-Man universe.
2
“That Man Is Ezekiel Sims, He Was In The Amazon With My Mom When She Was Researching Spiders Right Before She Died.”
Madame Web In Madame Web (2024)
Perhaps the SSU’s most notorious, and real, line appeared in the trailer for Madame Web – but was thankfully removed from the movie itself. The line appears as Madame Web’s voiceover, with other remnants of the dialogue appearing when Madame Web is discussing Ezekiel Simms with her wards. In a classic piece of clunky SSU exposition, Web declares, “That man is Ezekiel Sims, he was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.”
This line from the Madame Web trailer is meant to explain the narrative and connect the story to the larger Spider-Man mythos. The filmmakers ended up cramming too much information into a single line. As a result, the delivery feels like a rushed exposition overload. Instead of creating intrigue, it comes off as an awkward info dump. This ham-fisted line was mocked endlessly online and arguably contributed to the movie’s poor box office performance.
1
“My Grandmother Died And I Never Saw Her Again.”
Calypso To Kraven In Kraven The Hunter (2024)
About halfway through Kraven the Hunter, Kraven asks Calypso about the origins of the herbal potion that gave him part of his abilities. Calypso explains that she received the concoction from her grandmother. When Kraven asks if there’s any more available, Calypso tells him no, explaining: “My grandmother died and I never saw her again.” This has to be the worst line in the whole of the SSU.
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The delivery is incredibly wooden and unconvincing. While it could have been an important part of Calypso’s character development, this line makes it seem more like an afterthought. It’s said so matter-of-factly that it feels like the character is simply stating a fact rather than sharing a moment of vulnerability. The lack of sincerity in the delivery makes the line feel forced and highlights how redundant it is, making it one of the most notorious in the whole of Sony’s Spider-Man Universe.