Superbad's 25 Best Quotes

The best Superbad quotes help this movie remain one of the most popular comedy movies of the 21st century. Despite being released in 2007 in a very different comedic climate, the story of three high school outsiders tasked with getting alcohol to gain acceptance to a “cool kids” party is a timeless tale. The realistic premise of Superbad, produced by the legendary Judd Apatow and Shauna Robertson, placed Jonah Hill and Michael Cera on the map in their first major breakout roles while also providing solid platforms for Bill Hader, Seth Rogen, and Emma Stone.

While Superbad is a landmark comedy movie that is partially responsible for other great comedy movies in its wake, numerous elements and one-liners wouldn’t fly in today’s evolved cultural climate. With that said, Superbad is a rare brand of comedy movie that tells a meaningful story that arrives at a natural conclusion, challenging its two inseparable protagonists to grow up and ultimately grow apart for the sake of their individual futures. Much of this is thanks to those endlessly repeatable Superbad quotes and its well-crafted screenplay.

25 “I’m Sorry, Evan, That The Coen Brothers Don’t Direct The P**n I Watch.”

Seth

This hilarious Superbad quote arrives at the start of the film before the audience really understands the brotherly dynamic between Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera) and gets to know the sarcastic banter that defines their friendship. The movie starts with Seth (based on co-writer Seth Rogen) driving over to pick up Evan for school and the two are talking on the phone before he even gets there. That is when Seth says his big pre-college plan is to figure out which adult film site to subscribe to.

This sets up the dynamic, as Seth is looking for some of the raunchiest and dirtiest sites he can find, and Evan admits that he prefers better lighting, set design, and storytelling when he watches. The entire premise is set up with these quotes, as Evan is always looking for something big and special and Seth is always willing to just accept what he can find, knowing how ridiculous it is to seek perfection in something like adult films.

24 “I Am Truly Jealous You Got To Suck On Those T**s When You Were A Baby.”

Seth

Seth’s wild one-liners begin early in the movie as he pokes fun at Evan through his mom when he picks him up for school. As Evan gets into Seth’s car, Evan’s mom comes out, bends over, and talks to the boys, showing plenty of cleavage. Evan clearly looks away and feels embarrassed by his mom’s attention, while Seth can only stare at her chest. When they leave, Seth spouts out this line to Evan, obviously wanting to embarrass his friend.

Seth’s consistent and slightly offensive jokes at Evan are a staple of their tight friendship. The best part is that Evan’s response is an even filthier jab at Seth about what he supposedly got to suck on when he was younger. It shows how close they are and how they can easily poke fun at each other without the other getting overly personal about it. However, that dynamic changes as the movie wears on, making this a chance to see them in their best times together.

23 “Gangsters. What’s Up Guys?”

McLovin

The audience is introduced to the hilarious Fogell (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), also known as McLovin, with this hilarious line as he walks into Seth and Evan’s Home Economics class. He comes in and immediately starts talking to them in class, and they discuss their night of drunken partying (with their parents and their parents’ friends) as well as the fact that Fogell has a new fake ID – though they don’t know the name on it just yet.

This allows viewers to get to know McLovin and see how ridiculously awkward he really is, as well as how much he accepts getting made fun of by his two closest friends. There is even a big punch line at the end of the scene when it turns out that he isn’t even supposed to be in that class and the Home Ec teacher notices he is there and tells him to leave. Just the fact that he wanders into a class he isn’t even in to be closer to his friends shows the needy nature of this great supporting cast member.

22 “Uh, It’s 10:33.”

McLovin

When McLovin is in the classroom talking to Seth and Evan, he shares an anecdote about how he just talked to the girl he has a crush on. He also notes it was hot because she was “wearing these tight white pants and a black g-string and you could see it right through the pants.” However, the movie also shows what truly happened, as he was actually just creepily following her down the hall of the school, staring at her butt.

When she catches him staring and turns, she looks a little shocked and McLovin freezes, not knowing what to do. He can’t think of anything better to say than telling her the time, confusing the girl as he awkwardly walks away. It is a perfect moment to show how McLovin has no idea how to react in pressure situations, which comes into play later in the movie when he ends up in several awkward moments that have his head spinning.

21 “You Know How Many Foods Are Shaped Like D***s? The Best Kind!”

Seth

Seth has been making fun of Evan’s crush, Becca so when Evan demands to know why he hates her so much, Seth has a big story about them when they were in elementary school together. Seth loved to draw pictures of penises, although he knew it was weird. He did everything he could to hide it, and he had a lunchbox he would stuff his drawings into. However, one day a kid bumped his desk and one of his drawings fell to the floor. Becca picked it up, looked at it, and started crying, giving it to the teacher.

His principal was horrified and called in his parents. He had to see a psychiatrist since his principal decided he was “possessed” and they wouldn’t allow him to eat any “d**k-shaped foods.” It was a hilarious story and Seth explaining that he wasn’t allowed to wear hot dogs, popsicles, and many other food items was ridiculous in the best way. It sets up why Evan hates Becca and also leads into why the two boys end up having a falling out later in the movie.

20 “Well, Jules, The Funny Thing About My Back Is That It’s Located On My C**k.”

Seth

Superbad is full of crude one-liners like this one, in which Seth tries to be funny. He is hitting on Jules (Emma Stone), whom he has decided that he wants to start something with late in the school year. However, he ends up saying something that completely crosses the line and makes Jules’ friends look at him like he is a creep. This comes after Jules says that if he can get them alcohol for the party – if he scratches their backs, they will scratch his back. That leads to Seth making an inappropriate statement.

However, there is one other area about this scene that might explain why his comments don’t push away Jules and her friends. When Seth goes and tries to steal some alcohol from the store, he has vivid imaginations of bad things happening to him, and it appears that this is something that Seth often does — seeing things and his imagination playing out on the screen. There is a good chance that Seth never really said this, but wanted to. Otherwise, it seems strange that Jules doesn’t react more harshly.

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19 “No One Gotten’s A Hand**b In Cargo Shorts Since ‘Nam.”

Seth

Seth and Evan spend a lot of time making fun of each other, as well as poking at McLovin as well. One of the things they make fun of is how each of them dresses. This happened big when McLovin wanted to wear a terrible brown vest because he thought it would make him look older when he tried to use his fake ID to buy alcohol. They convinced him not to wear it, but then there was also a moment where Evan and Seth debated what they should wear to the party.

Seth is convinced that he must change his clothes before going to the big party at Jules’ house that night, begging Evan to let him borrow his dad’s clothes, so he won’t be forced to attend in cargo shorts. His entire thought process is that he won’t get any action if he shows up wearing cargo shorts, and then he makes an off-color statement about the last time he felt that cargo shorts were okay when someone wanted to get some action.

18 “Enjoy F*****g Jules!”

Old Lady

As Seth goes into a grocery store claiming he will steal some liquor, he starts to have vivid imaginations of things that could go right and wrong in the situation. One of the moments has a security guard catching him in the act and attacking him. The security guard ends up killing an older woman shopping in the liquor aisles before he picks up a shard of glass and slits Seth’s throat. While that was funny, his daydream about the older woman was even better.

It all starts when she drops her purse and Seth helps her by picking it up. She offers to repay him by buying him alcohol and then it flips to them checking out. Seth tells her to have fun in her “later years” and she tells him to enjoy his night with Jules with a very R-rated suggestion. Of course, Seth leaves without stealing anything, but his imagination and it playing out shows how his mind works and really helps paint a picture of what this teenager is really like inside that messed up head of his.

17 “You Don’t Have The Technology Or The Steady Hands To Pull Off A Procedure Like That, So Ha!”

McLovin

When Seth is unable to steal alcohol at the grocery store, he settles on McLovin trying to use his fake ID in the liquor store to buy them alcohol. McLovin is terrified and doesn’t want to do it, so Seth decides to push the issue. Seth panics at the thought of not getting alcohol for Jules and facetiously threatens McLovin that he will remove his face and walk into the liquor store with it on to buy the alcohol himself, leading to this hilarious comeback from McLovin.

This Superbad quote basically plays with the storyline from Face/Off, the movie where John Travolta’s police officer has Nicolas Cage’s terrorist’s face removed so he can impersonate him and figure out where he placed bombs around the city. The fact that Seth threatens to remove McLovin’s face is funny but this response that takes it all seriously is even better.

16 “You Guys On Myspace, Or…?”

Francis

While Seth and Evan are watching the police at the liquor store with McLovin, and they start to leave, Francis accidentally backs into Seth with his car. Francis freaks out because he hits Seth and sees the police nearby since he has a warrant out for his arrest for “non-violent” offenses. He says he will do anything as long as they don’t call the police. This includes getting them alcohol from a party so they can get into the high school party.

Francis drives them to the party where he claims he can get them alcohol, but acts overly enthusiastic to be cool with Seth and Evan, leading to this awkward question that quickly dates the older Francis. It is clear that the arrest warrant for Francis is likely for something creepy, and Seth and Evan are better off sitting in the back of the car and as far from him as possible. This is one situation where Evan and Seth prove they don’t always make the smartest decisions.

15 “You Always Take A Call At A Bar, Because Better Or Worse, You Get A Beer Out Of It.”

Officer Slater

While Seth and Evan are trying to get alcohol for the big party, McLovin ends up on a joyride with two police officers, played by Seth Rogen and Bill Hader. The two police officers not only “believe” that McLovin is Fogell’s real name, they also think that he’s really over 21. They then take him out for a huge joyride for the night and offer him everything from alcohol to smokes to letting him shoot their guns.

This Superbad quote is from Officer Slater (Bill Hader), who has many iconic lines in the movie due to his completely irresponsible conduct as a police officer. He shows McLovin “the ropes” by giving him the inner secret procedures of being a local town cop. This includes taking McLovin to a bar, getting lots of beer there, and then even taking some to go when they get an emergency call. This also comes into play later when they run when they hear sirens, which shows their lack of professionalism.

14 “On Our Wedding Night, We Had Group Sex. I Wasn’t Involved, But I Could Hear It Through The Wall.”

Officer Slater

She Was Amazing.

While McLovin is sitting in the bar with Officer Slater and Officer Michaels, he wants to try to pick up a woman there. However, they stop him with some important information and tell him that he should never pick up women in bars, and should go to something like a farmer’s market to find a good woman. Slater then tells McLovin that he met his first wife in a bar, and it was terrible. She ended up cheating on him — even on their wedding night.

Officer Slater reveals to McLovin a bizarre story about his wedding night, recalling that his wedding night included “group sex” but he wasn’t involved. He could also hear it through the walls. It was a fun moment when the officers continued to give McLovin lessons in life, and he didn’t even realize that they knew he was lying about his age and identity the entire time.

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13 “It’s Not The Going With The Ladies I Care About, It’s The Coming.”

McLovin

McLovin continues to present himself as a local legend in the eyes of Officer Michaels and Officer Slater in the bar. While they are talking about where the best places to pick up women are, they talk about hitting on women. They ask if he has trouble when it comes to knowing how things are going with the women he likes. He then drops a cringe-worthy one-liner, where he says he doesn’t know how it is “going” with the ladies he likes, but he knows how it’s “coming.”

It takes a minute for Officer Slater to get the joke and the innuendo of the statement, but once Officer Michaels emphasizes the words, both of the officers are laughing along with McLovin. This is another one of those moments where McLovin does everything he can to fit in and act like he is someone who he isn’t, although he really doesn’t have to with these officers. However, McLovin tries so hard that it makes it hard not to cheer for him in the movie, and Superbad quotes like this are a big reason why.

12 “Can I Have 13 Beers To Go, Please?”

Officer Michaels

If there is any question as to the lack of responsibility by Officer Michaels and Officer Slater, the bar scene and what follows explains it perfectly. They have been drinking beers — for free since they answered a call at the bar. However, when they prepare to leave for the call, they ask for 13 more beers to go. This means that the officers are planning to drink no less than four beers each as they are driving to the police call. The fact that they are still on duty shows they have no concerns at all about the law.

This is also a way that they show McLovin that they are cool cops who can have fun just like anyone else. It shows that they are irresponsible, putting the life of a teenager they just met in danger (even if they pretend to believe he is really 25) and that they are likely more criminal than anyone else who appears in the entire movie.

11 “0.08. Booya, Mothaf****s!”

McLovin

McLovin and the officers have a breathalyzer competition in the cop car in which McLovin blows a 0.08, registering him as legally drunk, which they all hilariously celebrate. What is great is that Officer Slater sarcastically remarks that it is “Beginner’s Luck,” as if failing a breathalyzer test is some kind of game or contest. It is also a disturbing moment in the movie because it proves that these two police officers, who are supposed to protect and serve, are getting a teenager as dunk as possible.

They even show their irresponsibility as they run every red light in the movie, while just throwing on their police lights, and almost causing other wrecks along the way. Yes, they want to show McLovin that cops can be cool and fun, but this quote and others like it show that they have no idea that what they are doing is more than dangerous, and they are not just risking their careers, but the life of a young high school student.

10 “S**t! The Cops! Bail, Bail, Bail!”

Officers Slater & Michaels

In their attempt to break the rules with McLovin, Officers Slater and Michaels forget that they are actually police officers after firing their guns at a stop sign in a quiet residential area. The entire scene is because Slater makes fun of Michaels for being a bad shot with the gun so he proves he can at least hit the stop sign. They give McLovin the gun and offer him a chance to shoot at the stop sign as well. However, they then hear police sirens heading to a house party.

When Slater and Michael hear the sirens, they yell that they have to get out of there before the cops arrive, racing off in their police car with beer bottles crashing onto the streets. This is also right before they smash their car into Seth (the second time he is hit by a car in this movie). It is a hilarious moment, because they are police officers, and they know that they have to run when other cops show up because they are drunk, disorderly, and harboring a drunk teenager.

9 “He’s A Freak. He’s The Fastest Kid Alive.”

Officer Michaels

After Slater hits Seth with his police car, he and Michaels turn into something the movie hasn’t shown before. While they are playing it cool and being nice cops to McLovin, they start to flip a switch and get aggressive and cruel with Evan and Seth. They are going to arrest both of them and frame them for jumping in front of the police car, even though they were responsible for the accident. However, when Evan sees McLovin with the cops, he stands up and starts running away as fast as he can.

Officer Michaels tries to chase down Evan, but Michaels is out of shape and drunk, and he can’t catch up with him. When Slater catches up, Michaels delivers this Superbad quote as if Evan was truly a speedster and him getting away had nothing to do with Evans’ being inebriated. The two cops break every law in the book while on duty and this shows that they are also willing to make up any excuse possible to explain their deficiencies. These cops are not only bad at their jobs, but they are also completely unreliable, and Michaels’s excuse to Slater is proof of that.

8 “I’m Seth! Let’s Do Another One To Me!”

Seth

Seth shows up at Jules’s party with alcohol, and that makes him the most popular person there so he takes advantage of that. When he and Evan were at the last party, they got into fights with people and were treated poorly. Now, Seth is treated like a hero because he brought the alcohol, which he stole from the last party. He takes advantage of this too, as he is enjoying the attention and gets more and more drunk.

Seth becomes the life of Jules’ party by bringing alcohol even though nobody knows who he is. The group takes shots in celebration of Seth’s contributions. Sadly, this also leads to Seth drinking more and more, so when he finally has a chance to hook up with Jules, she rejects him because he is drunk, and he realizes that by becoming the life of the party, he also ruined his chance to be with Jules — at least on that night. It is another moment when the movie shows that neither Seth nor Evan can get out of their own heads long enough to make the right decision.

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7 “It’s A Good THing. It’s The Best. Down The Hatch.”

Evan

The awkward Evan has a brief conversation with himself in the mirror before going out to find Becca (Martha MacIssac) at the party. This is because he got really far into his own head when Becca’s best friend told him what Becca wanted to do to him at the party. Evan knows it is wrong because Becca is drunk (just like Jules did with Seth), but he is told that if he gets drunk too, it will be acceptable. While this is in no way true, Evan tries to take a swig of hard alcohol after this Superbad quote, which he instantly spits out.

This leads to the awkward moment with Evan and Becca, and Evan proves to be a good person and won’t take advantage of her when she is drunk, even though she is the complete aggressor in the situation. It is a tough moment, and Evan wanted to get drunk so he wouldn’t have to think about it, knowing that he was trying to convince himself it was “a good thing,” when he knew deep down that it was still wrong.

6 “They Said That Would Happen In Health…When I Learned About It.”

Evan

Becca gets Evan upstairs at the party, and she moves in and decides she will offer him something he has always dreamed about. However, she is drunk, and he is sober, and he is awkwardly trying to get out of the situation, while she is more and more aggressive toward him. She then notices that he is getting aroused and makes a funny comment about it, to which Evan hilariously references the scientific information he learned in Health class that indicates this is normal, as things heat up between them.

The entire awkward situation and seems relatable as he wants to be with the girl of his dreams, but he knows this it isn’t the right time and place. He can’t help when he gets aroused during a situation he has only dreamed about before, and his comments about the scientific knowledge he learned about the human body still aren’t enough to slow Becca down, although they show how uncomfortable the entire situation is for the still sober Evan.